Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
