The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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