Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I need a beard to bite.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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