just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
My dick has a subreddit
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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