Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
why is half of my head shaved?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
