I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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