Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
