Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
