just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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