I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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