$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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