is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
