I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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