He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Randomize
