Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
