I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
