u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
