Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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