Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
