I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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