I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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