i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize