He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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