Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
