laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
