when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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