So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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