Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
