I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
