Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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