mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
