..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
