I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
