Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
