yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
