my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
