i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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