i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize