I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
