hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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