Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
