the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
