i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
