and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
