Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
