Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
