I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
