You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
