I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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