I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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