He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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