'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
