We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
