is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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