I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
