i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
