remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
He has the fingertips of a God
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize