Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
