your parents love me but you hate me
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
