You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize