i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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