i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
