I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My legs feel like baby dolphins
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
